Confounding Einstein

What can possibly be the explanation for how socialite Paris Hilton has stretched out her Warhol-allotted 15 minutes of fame far beyond six years?

There is only one: Somehow this bubble-headed blonde has learned how to warp space and time in a way that confounds Einsteinian physics.

Instead of being confined to the Los Angeles County jail (or house arrest), she should be placed under observation in a Cal Tech physics laboratory.